You're holding on to make a point...what's the point?

I guess I figured out why I'm holding onto Tyson even though it's hurting me: he was the first "real" and adult relationship I ever had.

Corey and I fought all the time and every fight we brought up every wrong the other has done to us. We would call each other the worse things imagineable while screaming at the top of our lungs. Even then, here was a guy who proposed to me even while telling me that he hates parts of me.

I didn't think I could have a mature argument with a significant other. I didn't think I could find anyone who was accepting of my flaws. But I did, I found that in Tyson. He knew my flaws and still loved me regardless and when my bitchy attitude came out, he dealt with it. When we argued we would never yell and only argue about what was relevant and not about something that happened months ago.

I know I deserve better and Tyson will never want me back. I just can't figure out if I'm hanging around hoping he'd change his mind or because of other reasons.