Tyson didn't come into Colorado until Tuesday morning because he got sick on Monday and had to go to the hospital. I think he was just really dehydrated from his weekend but he was feeling a lot better and spent Tuesday morning and afternoon packing his things. He came over around 5 and I had baked him some banana bread (alas, it was on the dry side; definitely not my best) and we hung out for a few hours trying to spend as much time together as possible. Mostly we just held onto each other, trying not to be too sad, and we joked and tried to seem light-hearted. He kept telling me he was going to miss me; just clutching me closer to him and whispering into my ear. Of course, he did that a couple of time while we were having sex and it kind of destroyed the mood, but oh well, at least I know he'll miss me, right?
He was going to have dinner with a few of his friends and roommates and invited me to go with him. I met his roommies Anne Marie and Tyler and saw Francesco again. They're all very sweet, mellow, and pretty nice. All of them are smokers though, so I felt awkwardly out of place as they all stood around smoking their cancer sticks and talking about football.
We went to dinner to some really random place called The Columbine where you order steaks and it's a really...um, well...dirty place with tables that are sticky from years of grease and spilled drinks. It was decent food for a great price and it was just fun sitting around eating shitty food and joking with people who can get my jokes. After dinner we went back to their place and hung out, digesting.
Tyson wanted to spend the night together so I agreed to that. I think we were going to stay at his place but his roommates have a cat and my allergies were going insane. Plus his bed was uncomfortable. We went back to my place around 11 and watched some tv before falling asleep in each other's arms. And it was really sweet, we talked more about the future and although we never said anything about it, I'm pretty sure that when he comes back to Colorado we'll be together again. I know he'll miss me, I know he meant it when he told me that he's really going to miss me and that he really likes me. I let him know that I felt the same way, I let him know that the whole reason why I don't snuggle/cuddle/spoon is because emotions get involved and if I let myself do that, it means I really like the person. I think he appreciated that. We talked more about our personal lives and vaguely hinted towards the future for us. I don't know what that'll bring, but he already introduced me to some of the most important friends in his life and they all said, as I was leaving, "I'm sure we'll see you more often." They genuinely seemed to approve of me and that's important.
I'm really going to miss him; not only because I let myself fall for him and trust him, but because he was the first guy in a very long time to make me feel special and deserving of a guy like him. I wanted to tell him that but it was all a little awkward and seemed like if I said that, he would think that this was good bye and not a see you later kind of thing. I talked with Lynn about it and she mentioned that it doesn't have to be over until he comes back as long as we keep in touch. I'm pretty sure we will, I'm not worried about that.
I think what makes this easier is because he is really good at communicating with me about his feelings and emotions. He doesn't make me guess what he's thinking of or how he feels about me. I know where I stand in his life and while I'm not sure I did a good job of letting him know where he stands in my life, I think he understands that I care about him deeply and I really like him. And I know this isn't over. I think we're just getting started.
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