I spent the last week in Williamsburg getting trained on a new survey tool that the Center bought. I went with Erika and Kent and luckily, I was able to go because there was a big deal and misunderstanding and I was sure I wouldn’t b e able to go. Right now I’m sitting on the tarmac in my airplane in DC because there’s a huge storm and it’s too unsafe to fly out. I thought I’d write some things that have been brought to my attention that I never really thought about.
Kent’s wife, Michelle, came out to Williamsburg as well as I guess a mini vacation. Knowing this, Erika and I were pretty sure that we won’t be hanging out with them because she seems to have a lot of unnecessary animosity towards the two of us. I think it has something to do with her insecurity when it comes to Kent because honestly, why would either one of us want him? Anyway, she was sick the entire trip thus far and I feel bad for both because neither can really enjoy their time in Virginia.
I was talking with Kent during break and he told me about some of Michelle’s symptoms and I asked if he thought she was pregnant again. They got pregnant after trying forever only to miscarry the baby 3 months later. I knew he was really bummed, and I also knew how excited and proud and ecstatic he was when he found out that he was going to be a dad. I was talking about Michelle’s symptoms with Erika and she was like, “Maybe he doesn’t want to know; maybe he’s afraid to get his hopes up because i don’t think he’s really over what happened with the first baby.” I never noticed, because I don’t really go into his office, but Erika told me that he marked the estimated due date for their first baby.
I guess I never thought about how traumatic it could be for the man to go through a miscarriage. So much attention and focus is on the wife or the mom that some people seem to forget about the dad. I know I did. I was immensely sorry when I heard about the baby but I didn’t do much afterwards to make sure he was ok. I guess it’s really not my business; he’s a quiet, private guy and he’s socially awkward and keeps to himself. I wouldn’t want him to feel like he needs to talk to me but I guess I would want him to know that he could talk to me if he needed to.
I just feel weird and bad because I got pregnant so easily without even trying. I guess that’s how it always happens and Erika and I are both worried that one day, when we want to plan on having a family, we would never get pregnant or have complications. Maybe there’s something to the fact that the younger you are the easier it is to get preggers but either way, it always seems like the people who don’t want kids are the ones who get pregnant.
Sometimes I think about it. Sometimes I wonder if I would be a good mom and can provide enough for my child to grow up to be a productive member of society. Tyson told me his parents divorced mostly because they couldn’t agree on how to raise their kids. I’m afraid of that; I know I would want to discipline my kids severely but Tyson wouldn’t. Not that that wouldn’t make the kids want to do something bad anyway, but I dunno, even though I was and am terrified of my dad, I still did the shit I wanted but in the end, I still kept my shit together.
Kent’s a lot older than I thought, and I know he really wants to be a dad. I don’t know about Michelle since I don’t know her but all the same, I want both of them to be happy. I want Kent to be a dad because I think he’d be a good one. I know I felt an infinite amount of sadness just wondering if he wants to be pregnant again and also, an unameable sadness when he told me that he and his wife miscarried.
Kent’s wife, Michelle, came out to Williamsburg as well as I guess a mini vacation. Knowing this, Erika and I were pretty sure that we won’t be hanging out with them because she seems to have a lot of unnecessary animosity towards the two of us. I think it has something to do with her insecurity when it comes to Kent because honestly, why would either one of us want him? Anyway, she was sick the entire trip thus far and I feel bad for both because neither can really enjoy their time in Virginia.
I was talking with Kent during break and he told me about some of Michelle’s symptoms and I asked if he thought she was pregnant again. They got pregnant after trying forever only to miscarry the baby 3 months later. I knew he was really bummed, and I also knew how excited and proud and ecstatic he was when he found out that he was going to be a dad. I was talking about Michelle’s symptoms with Erika and she was like, “Maybe he doesn’t want to know; maybe he’s afraid to get his hopes up because i don’t think he’s really over what happened with the first baby.” I never noticed, because I don’t really go into his office, but Erika told me that he marked the estimated due date for their first baby.
I guess I never thought about how traumatic it could be for the man to go through a miscarriage. So much attention and focus is on the wife or the mom that some people seem to forget about the dad. I know I did. I was immensely sorry when I heard about the baby but I didn’t do much afterwards to make sure he was ok. I guess it’s really not my business; he’s a quiet, private guy and he’s socially awkward and keeps to himself. I wouldn’t want him to feel like he needs to talk to me but I guess I would want him to know that he could talk to me if he needed to.
I just feel weird and bad because I got pregnant so easily without even trying. I guess that’s how it always happens and Erika and I are both worried that one day, when we want to plan on having a family, we would never get pregnant or have complications. Maybe there’s something to the fact that the younger you are the easier it is to get preggers but either way, it always seems like the people who don’t want kids are the ones who get pregnant.
Sometimes I think about it. Sometimes I wonder if I would be a good mom and can provide enough for my child to grow up to be a productive member of society. Tyson told me his parents divorced mostly because they couldn’t agree on how to raise their kids. I’m afraid of that; I know I would want to discipline my kids severely but Tyson wouldn’t. Not that that wouldn’t make the kids want to do something bad anyway, but I dunno, even though I was and am terrified of my dad, I still did the shit I wanted but in the end, I still kept my shit together.
Kent’s a lot older than I thought, and I know he really wants to be a dad. I don’t know about Michelle since I don’t know her but all the same, I want both of them to be happy. I want Kent to be a dad because I think he’d be a good one. I know I felt an infinite amount of sadness just wondering if he wants to be pregnant again and also, an unameable sadness when he told me that he and his wife miscarried.
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