You're the reason I love losing sleep

The last week has been slow and busy and consequently, boring. Tyson and I went up to Fort Collins again last weekend to hang out with Chris and his brother...god, I think his name is Matt. Anyway, it was just another drunken weekend and Chris' brother ended up tackling me in the middle of the street, some random drunk guy started some shit with Tyson, and all in all, it was ok I guess. Tyson and I spent the entire night spooning or cuddling somehow...I remember waking up at one point and his arm was around me and waking up again a few hours later with his arm still around me. It's weird...I almost like cuddling with him.

Anne Marie's sister is still living in Tyson's room so he spent most of the nights at my place. It wasn't easy, he would come over around 9:30 or 10, we wouldn't sleep until about 12 and then he'd get up at 5. I was in a bad mood because I wasn't getting enough sleep and I didn't like having to hear his alarm go off 3 times in 15 minute intervals. He said that Erica should be moved out by the time he gets back from Wisconsin.

I had dinner with Austin last Tuesday night for his belated birthday dinner. That was actually a lot of fun and just for the heck of it, we dressed up and wore pretty clothes. We had a really great conversation and you know, it really made me wonder if he could be someone I would want to date one day. He's really opening up to me and we talked a lot about what we want in the future and our fears and all those random, great, conversation pieces you would want to have with someone you care about. I think it's sad that it took us 8 years to get to this point but hey, at least we got here. And now I'm sure he'll ignore me for a couple of months because he opened up to me.

I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with Tyson and whether or not I can love him or if this could last long term. I'm afraid to really fall for him because he doesn't live in Colorado and his job can yank him back and forth at the drop of a hat. I don't like knowing when I'm going to see him again and for how long. I feel like he's selfish meaning that he only does what he wants to do and assumes that I'll tag along. And I don't like how he doesn't try to take me out on dates or even buy me dinner...

Ugh, I'm probably being petty. I don't think I want this to be too serious so I should just enjoy it for what it is. I can stop being so nice and just say No when I don't want to do something.