I talked with Tyson last night about some random but interesting things. I went and had some drinks with David, Julie, and Mitch and when I got home, I called Tyson. He doesn't think my friends like him and all I could say was, "well, they don't know you." Plus, I had to be honest and I told him that the only times my friends hear about him is when I have some kind of problem with him or when we've fought. So it's really rare for my friends to really know how I feel about him because I either don't share the wonderful things he does for me or how he makes me feel because it's always the bad things that take center stage and really, I doubt that most of my friends want to hear that mushy stuff.
I told him this before but I had to bring it up again. I told him I don't have any expectations for him because most of my expectations are really unrealistic and it just breeds hatred and bitterness because the person I'm dating isn't meeting me in the way I want them to. You know, that idealistic, fantasy person you build up in your head and you just get disappointed when you see them for who they really are and how they're nothing like you imagined them. So he got mad about that, or maybe confused is the better word because he asked what kind of guy I want to be with. I was honest with him; I told him if I could have my fantasy man, he'd totally take care of me financially and buy me pretty things and make sure I never have to work. My job would be to look pretty and dote on him when he wants attention from me. I even said that I wouldn't care if he cheated on me or whatever as long as he paid for everything and made my life easy.
But...I feel like that would be a loveless marriage. There's nothing about me that would qualify as "trophy wife" material; I'm not blonde, nor would I ever bleach my hair, and I don't have gigantic fake boobs. I also speak my mind rather than giggling inanely about something completely unwitty some random guy said. So although that's my fantasy, of marrying an extremely wealthy man so I never have to worry about anything in the future, I know this is something that'll probably never happen.
Tyson got worried and sad; he told me that if that's the life I really want, he wouldn't be able to give that to me. Then he started moaning about why we're even together if that's what I really want and I got annoyed and pissed because he asked me what my fantasy ideal would be and when I was honest and told him after he asked me, he gets all pissy.
I had to explain to him why I'm with him. I told him that although that's my fantasy, I know I'm not going to get it and money doesn't solve anything or buy happiness. Sure it would be nice to never have to worry about it, but who knows what that could be like. I told him that while I would rather get pretty things as presents rather than the sleeping bags, camping gear, and lesbian looking clothing that he'd get for me, I know he's getting me those things because he wants to spend time with me. He wants to take me hiking and camping, and he wants to share those moments and memories with him. And time spent together means so much more than a pretty necklace from Tiffany's or another purse from Burberry. Sure, in all honesty, I'd get more use out of those things since I'll probably only use camping gear at most, 4 times a year, but it's really what's behind it. He wants to spend time with me. He wants to take me places and although I'll bitch and whine and be miserable for the majority of the hike to our campsite or the top of a mountain or some other ungodly place like that, when I finally get to the top and see the view, it's going to take my breath away. And that's why I love him. And that's why I stay with him-because he takes my breath away.
I told him this before but I had to bring it up again. I told him I don't have any expectations for him because most of my expectations are really unrealistic and it just breeds hatred and bitterness because the person I'm dating isn't meeting me in the way I want them to. You know, that idealistic, fantasy person you build up in your head and you just get disappointed when you see them for who they really are and how they're nothing like you imagined them. So he got mad about that, or maybe confused is the better word because he asked what kind of guy I want to be with. I was honest with him; I told him if I could have my fantasy man, he'd totally take care of me financially and buy me pretty things and make sure I never have to work. My job would be to look pretty and dote on him when he wants attention from me. I even said that I wouldn't care if he cheated on me or whatever as long as he paid for everything and made my life easy.
But...I feel like that would be a loveless marriage. There's nothing about me that would qualify as "trophy wife" material; I'm not blonde, nor would I ever bleach my hair, and I don't have gigantic fake boobs. I also speak my mind rather than giggling inanely about something completely unwitty some random guy said. So although that's my fantasy, of marrying an extremely wealthy man so I never have to worry about anything in the future, I know this is something that'll probably never happen.
Tyson got worried and sad; he told me that if that's the life I really want, he wouldn't be able to give that to me. Then he started moaning about why we're even together if that's what I really want and I got annoyed and pissed because he asked me what my fantasy ideal would be and when I was honest and told him after he asked me, he gets all pissy.
I had to explain to him why I'm with him. I told him that although that's my fantasy, I know I'm not going to get it and money doesn't solve anything or buy happiness. Sure it would be nice to never have to worry about it, but who knows what that could be like. I told him that while I would rather get pretty things as presents rather than the sleeping bags, camping gear, and lesbian looking clothing that he'd get for me, I know he's getting me those things because he wants to spend time with me. He wants to take me hiking and camping, and he wants to share those moments and memories with him. And time spent together means so much more than a pretty necklace from Tiffany's or another purse from Burberry. Sure, in all honesty, I'd get more use out of those things since I'll probably only use camping gear at most, 4 times a year, but it's really what's behind it. He wants to spend time with me. He wants to take me places and although I'll bitch and whine and be miserable for the majority of the hike to our campsite or the top of a mountain or some other ungodly place like that, when I finally get to the top and see the view, it's going to take my breath away. And that's why I love him. And that's why I stay with him-because he takes my breath away.
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